Indie Band Names That Sound Like Sex Moves
by ChaChaz
Summary: I'm your run of the mill hipster douche, he's a straight edged gamer that wants to learn how to deal with his sexuality. I don't see how going out with him would cause any troubles. Creek
1. Hypnolovewheel

Have you ever had a dream so wonderful that you wish that it could be real?

I sure haven't.

It's weird; I have never had the desire to just sleep. My mother always told me when I was young, "That the early bird got the worm." I hated that analogy, hell. I still do. Getting up early never helped me with life it just gave me more time to think. Thinking might be nice for some but I hate it. So I use this time to get my homework done, I don't have to think to finish my homework, I just write things down and they seemingly are right.

People probably label me as the "crazy kid." I hate labels. Goth, Stupid, Preppy, Nerd, Jock, Stoner, Boring. They don't really have anything to do with the person just the annoying clique they're a part of.

That's why I like being where I am on the social ladder. I just jump from group to group. People just say "Hey, Tweek. Come over here and help me with French." So I do.

Maybe, if I stick to one group then I might have a personal connection with another. I've always dreamed, no. I've always wanted a personal connection with someone, someone different.

His name is Craig, we know each other, and we have the same home room since our last names were alphabetically next to each other. We talk at lunch because we sit at the same table. I know that he likes to eat ice cream sandwiches even if it's below 32 degrees. I know that his dream is to be an interior designer and will tell people to fuck off if they question him about it. I don't understand why I want to have a connection specifically to that guy. It's not my fault if every time I close my eyes, that fucking blue hat comes to my line of non-existent vision.

I just want to get him to tell me his deepest darkest secret, no matter what.

* * *

><p>It's a Monday morning and I don't mind. I hate the excuse "because it's Monday morning." It's biggest cop out in history of cop outs. I love Monday mornings it's starting fresh, it's the beginning of things in a way.<p>

So if I ever had a story of my own I would want to start it on a Monday morning. First period, History, I share with pretty much everyone I know. We all separate into our distinct clergies, I tend to go on the right side of the class near the window and at the back of the class do to my nature of blocking the person behind me, and I swear that's why I sit so slouched now.

My mother always tells me to have proper manners at the dinner table, so being the defiant teenager that I am I slouch even more. Sitting in front of me is Token. On the height meter he's the third tallest it would be Stan then Token, but of course towering at six four, I'm at the top of the height chart, literally.

I'm not talking as much as I usually am in this class; I'm brooding in my thoughts which can lead to serious trouble on my part. Mostly my thoughts go from what I'm having for supper to what kind of people I'll be serving today to Craig. My thoughts always end up revolving around that ass-face.

Looking around the class trying to distract myself from the in my head Craig, my eyes drift to the real thing. Growling, I admit defeat to my brain and end up staring at the boy of my thoughts.

He's at the front of the class one aisle over. He seems to be deep in his thoughts almost in an aura of serendipity. His pen drifting across his note taking paper, telling me that he's not actually taking notes but doodling instead.

I then see Red tapping Craig's back; I almost immediately fill up with under lying rage. It's not like I hate Red that's far from it, It's just I get really jealous of what I claim to be mine. Craig gives Red a look that mirrors what I'm feeling. Red just lifts her hands up hastily and waves them a bit in a shrill attempt at getting that look off his face.

"Calm down there, cowboy. I was just wondering what you're doing after school." Red inquired.

Craig snipped back. "Nothing, that involves you."

Red just rolled her eyes, and mumbled something about nerds and skyrim. My brain intervened and I thought to myself about how I like playing that game, I'm a Nord. That even the Nords hate but I digress.

Someone nudged my elbow causing to me snap up and shriek. The unwanted attention of me followed suite with a few whispers and giggles. Looking over to my left, I saw the persecutor of my recent woes.

"Ugh, Stan, what the fuck was that for, Man?" I twitch in that ugly way that I do.

He just shrugged.

"You seem to be in a love struck gaze is all."

"I-No, It's that- Uh I-well. Shut the fuck up." I stammered blushing.

Stan just snorted and turned his eyes back up to the front.

I stuck my tongue out at him for good measures, too bad the teacher saw me do that.

"Mister Tweak, Surely you are well aware that your lollygagging wouldn't be the proper behavior of a senior."

The giggles ensued. At this point I had made enough of a fool of myself for one class; burying my head in my hands, praying that this class would be over. That prayer would do the exact opposite because the next thing I hear is the teacher giving gruff instructions that we'll be doing a project. Great.

"Also, Class. I will be picking the people who will work together on the culture of their choice."

Someone quipped at that.

"So are we picking the culture or partners?"

The teacher Mister Lowley was his name snorted in disbelief.

"I will pick the partners and then the partners will pick the culture but you must pick a culture from the selection I give you."

There was a collective groan of unhappiness.

Anticipation surged through me; I loved learning about different cultures. I could look up different religions all day and what types of things people ate around the world.

I caught myself shaking more than usual, I needed to fidget with something before I turned into the communal vibrator. I looked at my desk seeing that I'd forgotten a pencil as usual. Biting the top of my lip, fidgeting with my monroe. I tried to find something to occupy my hands with.

I went to pull at my hair but soon realized that was out do to putting my hair in pigtails earlier that morning. Then it dawned on me, the elastic. I could play with one. I pulled out my pigtails and quickly put my mess of hair into a stubby ponytail.

Occupying myself with the small elastic made the few minutes of the teacher droning on about the project. Making weird shapes of the elastic with my pianist fingers was fun until I snapped my fingers with it. With a defeated sigh I decided to listen to Mr. Lowley tell us who are partners were.

To be honest, I hope I'm with Kyle because he'll take this as seriously as I will. I cross my fingers looking to the left seeing Stan cross his fingers too. He probably wants to be partnered up with Kyle but for obviously different reasons. I just chuckled to myself and turned my attention to the front.

"Clyde will be with Kenny."

Looking over I saw Clyde making exuberant gestures to Kenny who returned the favour with a grin and obscene gestures of his own. Clicking my feet together; I wondered when those two became so close.

"Tweek will be with Craig."

It wasn't Kyle. Fuck, it was even better than Kyle. I could give two less shits if I got an F on this project now. I was with Craig. We could go over to my house and fuck after I tried to persuade him to look up recipes from Bolivia or where ever the fuck we would have do a project on. This was my chance, my perfect chance.

Before I could even think another thing I stood up and walked over to Craig's desk with happiness, with pride, with confidence, with everyone laughing at me?

Craig looked at me with a dumbfounded look on his face. He tugged at the hem of my sweater to catch my attention, I leaned down to his face and he whispered "Kiss me."

I wish. What he really said to me wasn't that.

"Tweek, are you a fucking retard?" Was the reality.

I gave Craig a lopsided grin and giggled to myself. "Oops."

I stood up straight and walked back to my desk with grin still plastered to my face. Sitting down, Mr. Lowley asked me if he could continue with the partner selections. I waved my hand and let the class go on with day.

Safe to say that was the most entertaining thing I did that Morning.

* * *

><p>Lunch came bustling and per usual I was sitting in front of my locker with a chicken ceaser salad. People commended me with the show I put on during in history, I would just cackle in response and then everyone would be on their way. I was scraping the last of the dressing from the bottom of the container when someone loomed over me.<p>

"Jesus. Could get out of my bubble?"

"No."

That surprised me. I glance up at the person who is shadowing me from the blinking florescent light. Craig, of course it's Craig.

"What do you want? Is it about the project because I don't care what culture we do and-"

"I finished it."

My mouth gapes open. How the hell could Craig do a paper on a whole culture by himself in two hours?

"Why?" was my only response.

Craig just shrugged and swiped my grape juice. He could have it for all I care. Grape juice tastes like dirty ass holes. Fastening the lid on my empty container, I sighed and looked at Craig's shoes. They looked like slip ons but they were covered in paint. Raising an eyebrow I look up at Craig, still awaiting an answer.

"It's my gamer marathon tonight with Kevin and I don't want things like that to get in my way."

No, my chance, it was melting through my fingertips before I even grabbed ahold of it. Craig wanted to spend the evening with me; he just didn't know that yet. Tweek, think how could you join the gamer marathon? I can't ask Craig because he'll just get even more suspicious. I guess I'll just have to persuade Kevin to invite me.

Standing up quickly, I turn around to throw my container into my locker.

"Craig, where's Kevin?"

"When do you ever care where Kevin is?"

Turning back to Craig I look down to him. "Now."

Craig just sneered "He's in the stair well playing Gameboy. If you must know."

Perfect.

I patted Craig's head, and took off sprinting to find Kevin before I got out of hearing distance I yelled down the hallway to Craig.

"Thanks, shorty."

"Fuck you, Tweek."

I cackled in delight as I slid around the corner to find Kevin. I burst through the stair well doors to see Kevin playing Chinpokomon Reddish Brown. What an old game, I didn't think that there would even be games still in playing condition.

Kevin was still enthralled with his game when I tapped at his shoulder. He surged and whipped his head to face me. I meekly wave and bite at the bottom my lip.

"Oh, hey Tweek."

How could I forget, Kevin is the easiest person to talk to. Now I know why we chat so much in Trigonometry.

"Hi." I supply

"What's up do you need help with something?"

"No, no, no." I shake my head so fast, that I'm afraid I might get whip lash.

"I was wondering if…" How could I make this not sound creepy? Right, I can't.

"If I could hang out with you tonight?" I open my eyes realizing that I closed them during the question that I previously asked.

The first thing I see is Kevin beaming. I was taken aback at first but then I beamed back at him.

"Sure, if you like gaming marathons." Kevin laughed.

I laughed as well, because I don't.

I have a feeling they'll play something that takes strategy and I myself am a button masher. Even when I do find games that just take button mashing. I usually end up cowering under my bed, especially when I'm playing Nazi Zombies. Then I call my mom to turn off the television because I get myself stuck under the bed.

"Cool, Tweek. I'll meet you at the front of the school, with Craig. I almost forgot, Craig is coming along too if you don't mind."

Hook, line and sinker.

"Really? Well, that's cool. I guess."

* * *

><p>The lunch bell rang. I helped Kevin up and ran back to my locker.<p>

Rooting through my cardigan's pocket, I find some cigarettes. I don't mind waiting for people but if I wait for too long, I start thinking. Cigarette's keep my thinking postponed. I just focus on inhaling and exhaling. The burning end comes close to my mouth faster than I expected. I flick the butt into a clump of snow, adjusting my messenger bag. I see Kevin and Craig coming close. I stand still trying to look natural. Trying to look natural will just make you look even more unnatural.

"Tweek. There you are." Kevin waved me over.

I couldn't have been that hard to find. For christ's sake, I'm the tallest kid in the school not to mention my hair makes me two inches taller.

I shuffled over to the two and looked over Craig; he didn't seem as pleased to see me as Kevin was. I gave an awkward chuckle and adjusted my messenger bag again. We walk in this silence Kevin seems to be explaining to Craig what we, they'll be playing tonight.

Before I forget, I text my mother that I won't be home until after dinner. I don't know my mom doesn't mind me staying out until eleven at night just as long as I'm socializing with people.

"Tweek, you shouldn't hermit in your room so much. Get out more." That's what she tells me.

I socialize just enough.

Kevin nudged me and I stuff my phone in my pocket quickly so he doesn't see it.

"I didn't know you smoked, Tweek."

"Why do you think I'm always late for Trigonometry every Thursday?"

Kevin shrugged and kept gesturing animatedly to Craig as he kept listening intently. I shouldn't be this jealous of Kevin but I am. It's not my fault that I'm jealous, actually it is my fault. Whatever.

Kevin trudges up his door steps, and let's Craig and I into his house.

It was your typical South Park household, but it smelt like rice and not the nice minute rice but this putrid haze of something I couldn't put my finger on. Holding in my gags, as we passed the kitchen. Kevin ran in there with anticipation.

"Oh man, you guys are lucky my Mom is making Nian gao."

I feel so privileged, but I think it's actually nausea that I feel. We are so lucky. I trudged up the stairs behind Craig. I was starting to wonder if stairs were getting thinner or were my feet getting bigger. Craig was at the top of the steps and I tried to do this jump step hybrid but it ultimately failed when my toes hooked the edge of one of the stairs I fell up them.

Craig chuckled at my pain "Smooth move, exlax."

"Yes, Ha Ha. Seeing the resident tall kid fall up the stairs. Classic" I sneered.

Craig offered his hand to me, being the suave guy that I am I stuck my tongue out in return and wobbled myself up. Getting to the top step I see Kevin with a steaming container of something. Though my gut, wanted to keep the contents of that container a mystery.

I looked at Craig who just lifted his middle finger in response.

Once we got settled into Kevin's room, I looked to see Star Wars everything in his room. Luke and Obi Wan action figures, posters from every movie even his bed spread had Death Maul on it. I could never ever sleep with Darth Maul on my bed; I have a hard enough time sleeping as is.

Kevin opened the container to reveal pizza bites; on second thought I think my stomach could use food. I grabbed four pizza bites and inhaled them with delight.

"I thought you didn't eat shit." Craig inquired.

I took his tactic and raised my middle finger.

Swallowing I mumbled "I don't eat shit, I eat food. Ass munch."

"Ladies, Ladies." Kevin chuckled. "Why don't we play some Brawl?"

Craig leaned back on Kevin's bed leg and sighed "As long as you don't pick Pit all the fucking time and use that cop out move."

"Aw, come on he's hardcore."

Craig just rolled his eyes.

Well this is fun. Sighing I picked up a controller and watched Kevin setting up the Wii console. Call me old fashioned but I play PC games. Sims and Skyrim are the only things I play. I'd rather be painting.

* * *

><p>After two hours of chips and gaming I excused myself thinking if I played one more video game I would explode. Craig looked at his watch and excused himself as well saying something about making dinner for his sister. I believe her name is Ruby she's a sophomore she has light red hair it looks almost pink when she plays volleyball under the giant gymnasium lights. I've only seen her play because I'm a part of the yearbook club.<p>

I waved one last time as Kevin shut the door on me and Craig. I let out a breath of relief rooting out my cigarettes and lighter. Craig just looked at me with a questioning gaze. Placing a cigarette in my mouth, I waved my package slightly.

"Want one?" I offered.

He looked around as he was scouting for people who would see him do something horrid like murder. Holy Fuck. Was he going to murder me? No. He wouldn't do that Tweek.

"Um, I guess one won't hurt." He inquired. Taking one ever so gently, brushing his fingertips around the tip. I wish he'd do that to my dick. Stop woah Tweek red alert. Squeezing my eyes shut.

"It won't." I grinded

Flicking my lighter I inhaled mine with a feeling of euphoria come over me. I flicked it again lighting Craig's he inhaled hard and started sputtering and coughing with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Agh, Fuck. Are you alright?" Patting his back reassuringly, I soothed, with the cigarette in my mouth.

He just made a curt nod. "I'm fine, just can't breathe, you fucker."

"Just relax, don't focus on breathing."

He looked at me with an expression that said "Yeah, I'll get right on that, fuck head."

"What?" I said in defense. "It's not rocket science."

With an exasperated sigh he inhaled on the end of the cigarette again, sputtering a bit less. I guided him to a seat on the curb coaching him to inhale not like his life depended on it. I may not be good at much but I'm pretty good at smoking.

After finishing our cigarettes and started to walk, Craig vowed never to do that again. I giggled and told him that if hung out with me more he'd be chain smoking by the end of next week. He chuckled as well.

Looking at the stars, I yawned.

"Where was Clyde?"

Craig seemed taken aback from this sudden question, he should know by now that I ask random questions.

"Tonight, at Kevin's doesn't he like video games and don't you guys always hang out?" I added.

"He was at basketball practice, and tonight he wanted to go to Taco Bell afterwards." Craig says.

I shuddered. "He'd anything wouldn't he, even a shit sandwich."

Craig shook his head. "Nah, he doesn't like bread."

I tried to hold in the laugh that burst out of my mouth. Craig was funny when you were alone with him, something I hadn't learned in these recent years. He was perfect, perfect.

"Let's play a game." I wheezed trying to recover from my fit.

"A game?" He raised a brow at this.

I nodded "I ask you a question and you answer it and then you ask the question and I'll answer it."

"You can go first." I inquired.

Rubbing his chin, Craig went into deep thought. He crossed his dark brown eyes in concentrations.

"Do you shave?"

I vigorously nodded. "If I didn't, I'd look like a Scandinavian pervert with those like half beards and mustaches."

"My turn." I said. "I'll ask you the same question."

He furrowed his brows "That's not fair."

"My game, my rules." I snipped.

He growled. "I do, my hair's dark so it gets really noticeable and I have major side burns if I don't keep on top of it."

This was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I liked knowing things that no one else knew about him, I wish our houses were further away.

He asked me another question that surprised me. "Do you like boys?"

I kicked a pebble and looked away from him with pink tingeing my face. "Is it that obvious?" I mumbled.

I looked at Craig with a saddened look in my eyes, I wasn't embarrassed of my sexuality but I did try to not make it so obvious. Maybe I should have thought of that when I made out with Stan at the last party I went to.

Craig shrugged in the most sympathetic way he could. "Tweek, could you help me then?"

I was just confused at this point. "With what?"

Craig grabbed my wrist and pulled me so my ear was lined up with his mouth. I shuddered.

"I like them, too."

At this point I was stammering. "I didn't ask that, man."

"That's not the point, Tweek." He sighed looking down.

Seeing my house, I tried making sense of the situation before we had to part.

"What is?" I questioned

"Teach me, how you deal with liking boys." He looked as red as a tomato.

How do you teach someone to deal with their sexuality? Sexuality is as unique as the person to whom which that sexuality belongs to. I couldn't simply teach him how to just deal with his sexuality. Fuck, I don't how to deal with things period. I ran my tongue over my piercing. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was my golden ticket to Craig Wonka's factory and by Craig Wonka's factory I meant his anus.

"Why don't we date each other." I suggested with a coy grin.

"Date each other?" Craig seemed less enthusiastic with the idea.

"Yeah, it will be fun." I beamed.

"Fun?"

"This way you could learn how to deal with your parents when you invite a boy over, maybe dances. Stuff like that." I added.

Craig started to toss around the idea with his mind. "That makes sense."

I could hardly contain myself as we turned up my driveway, skipping with enthusiasm. This was perfect, everything was perfect.

"So?" I grabbed Craig's hands into mine, as we stopped in front of my door.

Craig blinked and the left side of his mouth quirked. "Will you go out with me, Tweek Tweak?"

I breathed out "Yes, Craig Tucker. I will go out with you."

We part and Craig starts down my drive way, he walks out the way we came in. Confused I run up to him before I go into my house.

"Wait, where is your house?" I asked.

"Oh, we passed it about five minutes ago." He pointed.

I grab his face and kiss him. We're going out so this is okay. I've always wanted to do this. He is so soft and he's so pretty and perfect. He's just perfect. I can't deal with it, his perfection.

We part for the second time in about two minutes and I look down at his face to see a particular glow on his face. I smile and jog up to my porch and wave good bye from there. He takes about a minute to turn down the road. Once I can't see him, I let myself into my house and am welcomed by its warmth. Kicking off my shoes, my mommy comes from the kitchen and asks me how today was.

"It was awesome, perfect even." I smiled.

My mom just giggled. "Well, you'll have to introduce him sometime soon."

"Mom, you didn't…" I ran to the kitchen to see the curtains on the window out to my porch were recovering from being stirred.

I screech. "Mom!"

My mom pouts. "Oh, come on now Tweek, I was just peeking."

I put my head in my hands. "It's still really fucking embarrassing."

Even if my mom was teasing me, I couldn't help but be happy. My life was turning around for the better. At this point my life was about to get a lot more interesting to say the least.

"It could be worse." My mom inquires. "I could have caught you two having sex."

"Mom!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you, Jesus. I finished this hellish chapter. I'm going to start on chapter two right a fucking way. I thought this chapter would be out sooner but turbulence in my personal life. I'd like to personally thank Scarlett. She's a fucking angel. Her writing inspires me to no bounds. Also, I'd like to thank to my biffle Zara even though she won't read this I just love her. Also, I'd like to thank my new friend Ashley. She has the zaniest art and her writing is to die for. Just ah.<strong>_

_**Reviewing would be super sweet but you don't have to because I'm a fuck face who never reviews. I should get a taste of my own medicine.**_

_**Boop.**_

_**Syrina fucking out.**_


	2. The Weepies

As per usual, I wake up way before my alarm. It's so unfair. Why can't I be like a normal seventeen year old and sleep sixteen hours a day? No, I have to be the fucktard who wakes up at four every morning. God is out to get me or the government or it could be the fucking terrorists. No, it's the gnomes. It's always those cocksuckers.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I slump forward hitting my head on one of the shelves above my bed. I keep asking my dad to raise them but it always ends with me hitting my head against the table as my dad doesn't finish his metaphor or story. It would be better if my mom would scold him for it but she just carries on and kind of adds in her two bits. I hate it so much, I want out of it.

My head hurts now. I hate my awkwardly long torso; it just makes me look all gangly. The cold air prickles my skin as I feel my goose bumps get about a billion times worse. I twist out of my tea cup sheets, and wiggle my colourful blue and green toes on the fuzzy, stained, beige carpet in my room.

The colourful toes come from Bebe and Karen for some reason Butters, Kenny and I always get them to paint our toes. I guess for me it's like keeping a secret from mostly everyone. See I never show my feet to anyone they are always in my vibrant socks. The only times I go sockless is when I'm in my room/bathroom, getting my toes painted or sex. I'll tell you I am a fashion offender with socks and sandals in the summer time. I don't know why but people always are quite shocked when they see my pink or silver or even sometimes purple toes. I just like hiding some of my quirks until I'm totally nude. For example; my coffee cup tattoo on the back of my knee.

It makes me feel like you'll never know everything about a person. You always learn new things about one. My parents don't even know some things about each other. My dad doesn't know my mom hates bologna sandwiches but I do. So every time he makes one my mom just winks at me and when my dad leaves the room I eat it.

I put some music on to take a jab at my French homework. Then Vanilla Twilight by Owl City lingers through the air. I start with the conjugation of etre in the conditional form. I end with tears in my eyes blubbering over how Vanilla Twilight is one of the saddest songs ever. It's about a guy who misses his dead girlfriend and if that isn't sad I don't know what is. I rub my nose with my arm and trudge to the shower.

The hot water pounding against my skin feels like I'm in a calm state of nothingness, it's sort of a blissful feeling that I wish I could have more of. I open my mouth and it fills up with hot water and I spit it out like a waterfall, I kind of just open up my mouth again and it just tumbles out. I wish I could just stay in the shower forever and never have to bare the arctic tundra that is my bathroom. Though, my pruned fingers beg to differ. Shampooing my hair quickly and rinsing it out, I leap out of the shower and to my towel rack. My hand hovers over the towels and they seem to be resonating heat. Bitchin, my mom did the laundry before she went to bed. So I wrap the towel around my waist and stalk across the hallway into my room.

Getting dressed quickly into my clothing, I had a graphic t-shirt on and I had a baggy plaid sweater over top and of course my denim skinny jeans. I had my music note boxers on too. Perverts.

I pressed shuffle on my iPod and a song that I really relate to right now came on. Nobody knows me at all by The Weepies. Heh, sounds kind of like a sex move. I'd like to do that with Craig. Ah, If only I could do that with hi-

Wait.

Last night.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered swaying to the music.

I'm going out with him. How could I almost forget? God, I'm the most retarded person on this planet. I still can't believe it though, even if it was kind of not really going out with him. By the end of today everyone will be recognizing Craig and I as a couple. Well, except Craig. Though his thoughts about this don't matter, all that matters is that we are a couple in my standards.

I look at my alarm clock and it reads six am. My mom should be up in the kitchen now. You see my mom is super she cooks me breakfast, buys me cigarettes and good coffee beans she even helps me when I have trouble with my homework. I am a defiant teenager though so that goes over looked when she embarrasses me or we get into little arguments then she's the worst because like me she's really fucking stubborn in that "Oh, my opinion doesn't matter but you're a shit face if you don't agree with it." Kind of way.

Grabbing a headband pushing it back into my hair and out of my face, I take some glasses and place them on my face. I look good enough to go down stairs and greet my mother.

"Mom?" I stomp down the stairs into the kitchen. She's making egg and bacon sandwiches with cheese like she does every Tuesday morning.

"Good morning, Sweet heart. Your coffee is on the table." She says flipping over an egg.

I lick my lips as I grab the hot cup of glory. Coffee is my life, my rock, my existence even. Sitting down at the table I start sipping at the black liquid in my hands.

My parents still own the coffee shop by the way, they say it's their second child but I'm much more important and if I sick or something to that extent they'd sell it in a heartbeat. It would be sad if they had to sell it though. So I promised them I'd never get sick. That was when I was six; ironically I caught the flu a week later and begged them not to sell the coffee shop because I was sick. My mom just smiled and patted my head saying I won't have to worry then she made me noodle soup and everything was better.

Mom slid next to me and nudged at my side with two plates of egg sandwiches.

"So when are you going to invite him over?" My mom smiled.

"Never." I bit into my sandwich with a snort.

"Honey, that's not being far. We have to make sure he's good for you." My mom pouts.

"No, actually you just want to see how cute he is and will make bad jokes to him and the stories don't get me started on the stories." I furrowed my brows.

My mom puts her elbows on the tables and cups her face with her hands. "Aw, you take all the fun out of it."

"Good." I stuff the rest of the sandwich in my mouth.

"Hmph, you won't have a boyfriend if you eat like that." She stands up and puts my dirty dish into the wash.

I just stick my tongue out in retaliation.

"Also, ask before you take my reading glasses and headbands before you take them even if you do look like a little darling in them." My mom giggles.

Sighing, I stomp my feet in one place. "Oh my god, mom. It's cool to wear it, okay? Also, don't call me a little darling it's fucking embarrassing."

My mom just keeps giggling "Oh, sorry, young man."

That's when I stomped upstairs to get my scarf.

It's pretty obvious that my parents are okay with their son being a "faggot." They never said liking boys was a bad thing. It's the nice thing about living in South Park even if everyone is kind of a redneck they do have a very open mind to things seeing that Stan and those fucktards pretty much make weird things a norm here. I guess when I came out to my parents it wasn't really the conventional way. It was in about second or first grade and I told my mom that when we were getting ready for gym, Kenny took off his parka and I felt all red and gooey. She just kissed my cheek and said that was fine and everyone is different my dad just nodded and agreed with her. I didn't understand what she meant back then but now I do. I love my mom and dad.

I grab my messenger bag and scarf and run back down stairs to say my good bye to mom and dad, who seem to have woken up and is now drinking his coffee. I look at my cell phone and it reads seven twenty, perfect. Slipping my shoes on, I burst out into the fresh air.

As I walked to school I wondered what Craig was doing at the moment.

* * *

><p>"Craig, wake up. You're going to be late for school, or are you sick? Are you? Mommy will take care of you if you are."<p>

Craig just grunted scratching his head "Coming."

It was like this every day his mom would just stand outside his door talking non sense. She would do this until Craig opened his door confirming that no, he wasn't sick and his mother could stop worrying or until his dad would tell her to stop bothering him and that he'd come out soon. Craig tended to like the latter. His mom would stop much sooner if his dad would tell her so.

Unfortunately that wasn't happening today, most likely his dad was already down stairs eating breakfast getting ready to go to work. Craig just sighed and got dressed as quickly as he could in his half asleep state. As he tugged on his hat he wandered over to the cage on the corner of his desk. Clicking his tongue he coaxed a small ball of fur to come out of the neon igloo in the cage.

"Hey, Moogle." Craig poked his finger through the bars and wiggled it slightly. The guinea pig squeaked with delight.

"Here's some nice breakfast." Craig dropped the piece of lettuce in the cage and sauntered out the door.

He knocked on the bathroom door. "Ruby, I swear to god. I will piss on this floor."

Ruby popped out of the bathroom. "Don't get your panties in a knot, Jesus. I'm done." Craig flipped her off and she retaliated.

Craig did his business and washed his hands and brushed his teeth, looking at his reflection in the mirror he sighed.

"I just shaved two days ago. I shouldn't have five 'o clock shadow. It's not even eight yet." He just rubbed the stubble and sighed again stepping out of the bathroom.

He met his family in the kitchen and grabbed a piece of toast. His mom turned around addressing Craig but telling everyone in the room.

"Craig, when you got home I smelt smoke on your jacket."

"That's nice." Craig supplied.

"Are you smoking, Craig? I won't get mad if you tell me the truth." His mom questioned.

"No, I was kissing a smoker." Craig said honestly.

"Oh?" His dad inquired.

Craig's mom put her hands on her hips. "Don't just 'Oh' him Thomas." He just flipped her off.

Then she turned to Craig. "Well, who is she? Is she pretty? Not prettier than me."

Craig munched his toast. "He's pretty handsome in that quirky kind of way."

She squealed with delight. "Did you hear that Thomas? It's a boy. Oh Craig, we'll love you no matter who like. You're my little sunshine."

"Right." Craig said gruffly.

"Is it that Asian or the pudgy Donovan kid? Or maybe it's the black one, he's pretty handsome." Craig's dad asked.

Craig just stood up. "It's none of the above. I have to go to school." He said walking out of the house with an exasperated sigh.

"We love you, Craig." His mom waved.

He waved back "Yeah, ditto."

* * *

><p>Walking to the school parking lot, I light up a cigarette. I see Kenny, Bebe and Butters they seem enthralled with each other's conversations. Kenny is sucking at the end of his cigarette nodding with a smile every once in a while. The other two are playing a clapping game I think or making a secret hand shake.<p>

I blow out my smoke in small puffs, and tap Kenny on the shoulder.

"Ah, If it isn't the final part of our blonde bunch?" Kenny punches my arm in a friendly way.

"Ouch." I groan in pain. "Uh, Bebe?"

Bebe looks up to me "What is it, hun?"

I scratch the back of my head finish my cigarette. "Have you seen Craig go into the school?" She shook her head.

Then Kenny got this weird grin on his face and I knew what he was going to say. "So you still are getting a boner for gamer Mc Grease pants?"

I crossed my arms and snipped. "We're dating, stupid."

They fucking pounced on me like a fly on shit.

"Really?"

"Why jeez, Tweek why didn't ya tell us?"

"That a boy, I knew you had it in you."

I lifted my hands up and tried to push them away. "Guys, guys, Agh. Please, you're all too close. Jesus."

Bebe and Butters stepped back a bit and Kenny just looked at me. "Ugh, Kenny get out of here." I pushed his face away from mine.

I tromp away from the group and into the school giving them all the middle finger for good measures. Out of all the groups, I hang out with them the most. Why do I hang out with them as much as I do? I always ponder this. I've come up with three reasons why I do. One; they are very talkative, I don't really have to be a part of the conversation because the other three will carry the conversation and I'll just listen putting my two bits in when I see fit. Two; would be that they party a lot. It's nice because they always know good parties even if there is alcohol at the party or not. They know how to have fun and are able to include me. Three; when I have a problem they legitimately listen. Kenny will give me extra cigarettes, Bebe and Butters will rub my back in a soothing motherly way. I can say they at least try to be my friends.

People would think that since I have big eyes, giant bags under them that I would be self-conscious but I'm not. It's silly because even if I am paranoid about the fucking government, terrorists and gnomes. All of those things are terrifying my friends are not. That's why I'm not paranoid about them not liking me because when I'm evenly remotely worried, my friends will give me a gracious smile and then I wonder why I was worried in the first place.

I got to my locker. I heard people whispering around me. I think it's just my paranoia so I just ignore it for the most part. This is weird, scratching my head I feel my headband going out of place. Quickly I straighten it out before I think people notice. It's only been about twelveish hours. I miss Craig already. Fuck, I'm not usually this dependent, I shouldn't be. I've got this in the bag.

There's no one in the hallways anymore. I lean back on to my locker and slide down, my butt hovers the floor and I kick my feet out in front of me so I land on my butt with a quiet 'Oof'. With nothing better I start to pick at my nails and bite at them. My cuticles start to bleed; I saw that coming so it wasn't a big deal. I'd get some Band-Aids from my bag later when I had enough energy to stand up. Ugh, now I'm bored and I'll start to think about things. I can't even go for a smoke because lately I've been feeling like a fucking chimney. Therefor I resort to fidgeting with my Monroe with my tongue. After I got bored of that I tucked my knees tight to my chest and leaned my head down on the tops of my knees and closed my eyes.

"Tweek."

"Hmm."

"Tweek."

"Go away, Kenny."

"It's Craig."

That got my attention. I look up to see him hovering over me; his hat tassels were brushing the spiked parts of my hair. It tickles a bit when my hair moves around getting hit by the tassels. Small giggles bubbled out of me. His mouth quirks up as the giggles roll out of me like a volcano.

Once the giggling subsides, I extend my hand to him hinting that I want help being pulled up. He grabs my hand but there was no pulling. I was really confused at first, because he just looked around the hallways my hand in his. I was about to say something when I saw a bit of colour in his face.

"I think it would be easier for us to hold hands if I were standing up." I mentioned.

Then he helped me up. I looked down at him and I am a good nine inches above him. I mean Craig is vaguely tall but he looks like a trinket next to me. There is something to be told about Craig's height, I see him walking home from school with his sister and they're the same height. I'm guessing she got her father's genes. Ha. I stared at his face for a while; he has slight stubble under his chin and his eyes they're fucking amazing. They have the lightest blue hue around his pupils. It's almost as if they're white in the middle. Then the colour fades to sea green and then this deep murky blue. They're amazing and I thought my eyes were cool looking. They're light a green yellow with a bit of brown surrounding the pupils. I think Craig should know about my fondness about his eyes. So I tell him.

"Craig, you have amazing eyes." He just grips my hand tighter; I almost forgot he was even holding it. He sighs and brings my hand to his face.

"You need Band-Aids." Craig dug around in his pocket and fished out some plain tough strip Band-Aids. I was kind of disappointed that he didn't have heart Band-Aids like I do in my bag. It's the thought that counts though. He carefully wrapped it around my finger. I thanked him. Then he grabbed my scarf and went on his tippy toes, softly kissing my nose.

He looked down and grunted "My mom says that if you kiss someone that got hurt it'll make them feel better, no matter what. It's stupid but I thought I'd give it a try."

Letting go of my scarf and patting my chest, I was flabbergasted in a very good way. I secretly hoped that cheesy lines like this would be the quintessence of Craig in the future.

The bell rang when Craig kissed my nose but I didn't notice it for obvious reasons. He slipped his hand into mine and asked.

"Where's your first class today? I'll walk you there." I smiled and answered.

"Its French class in room number 134."

Craig nodded and we went on our way.

* * *

><p>Wonderful, it's finally lunch I have a problem on my hands though. I don't know who to sit with, I don't know if Craig wants to hang out with me just for learning or does he want us to interact with his friends? Oh, God Kenny. He'll wiggle his eyebrows at me and then I'll get embarrassed and that's the fucking last thing I ever want. Maybe if I just eat here by locker I can avert all of these problems. Yes, that would be good.<p>

"Tweek, my brethren." I heard Clyde in the distance.

Or maybe not.

I freeze like a small animal thinking that would stop him and I'd just fade away into nothingness. Obviously it didn't work. Clyde is a good kid and he must be super since he is Craig's best friend but I don't know Clyde is a little…what's the word?

He comes up to me and ruffles my hair.

Touchy.

"Uh..." I stammer.

"Don't be frightened, I'm just here to guide you to your boyfriend." Now Clyde is wiggling his eyebrows and is pulling at my wrist. I guess Craig told him, which still doesn't give Clyde the reasons to fucking pull me around. I flail but it's an ill attempt to get free. I may be taller than him but I have no muscle mass. Clyde does. So by the time we got to the cafeteria doors I stopped resisting and just let Clyde guide me to my new destination.

I saw Craig, Token and Kevin. They seemed to be as impressed as I was with Clyde's bull shit. I thought Craig would be the first to speak up but it was Token.

"Clyde, what are you doing to that poor kid?" Clyde let go of me and I scurried behind Craig. It probably looked weird because I had to bend down so far, but you get the point.

Clyde just sauntered over to Craig.

"So, you like dudes. Bro?" Clyde poked at Craig with a stupid smile.

"No."

"But you and Tweek are-"

"No." Craig interrupted.

"But-"

"No." Craig lifted his middle finger to Clyde this time.

"Now you're just saying no to everything I say." Clyde pouted.

"When was it any different, Clyde?" Craig pointed out.

I guess Craig won that battle and I stood up straight again. As soon as I did that everyone around me sat down and began to eat. Quickly, I sat down before people began to stare. My lunch was in my locker but I didn't want to leave. I guess Token and Kevin noticed because Token passed me his Clam chowder. Kevin gave me his extra fruit medley juice box.

I blushed "Thanks, you guys." Slurping the clam chowder given to me, I feel a sensation on my thigh and look down to see what it is. Its Craig's hand just gripping at my thigh he looks troubled. I grab his hand and the look on his face relaxes a little. I wonder what was wrong. Craig and I sat in silence because it's nice being able to just know he's next to me and we don't need to talk for us to feel comfortable. So we just listened to Clyde talking about Call of Duty and Kevin arguing that Call of Duty wasn't a real game.

They asked me if I wanted to go to Token's with them. I was going to agree but Craig piped up.

"Actually, I'm going to Tweek's so we can't."

That was the first time I heard Craig say anything about visiting my house. He wanted to learn about relationships I guess. I knew as much about as relationships as he did but I decided if I told him that, he wouldn't see the appeal of going out would go away.

"You guys gonna bang?" Clyde put in with his eyebrows dancing across his forehead.

Craig gave Clyde the finger and pulled me out of my seat. "Fuck you, Clyde."

Clyde yelled across the room as we were leaving if people weren't looking at us before they sure were looking at us now.

"Craig, just remember about your bros when you're putting your dick in Tweek." I felt all of my blood rush to my face. Looking at Craig I think I knew how he felt because he was beet red. We ran out of the cafeteria cursing.

We ran until we got to the parking lot where I could smoke. I panted and got my cigarettes out.

"You're not fucking serious are you?" Craig questioned me.

I stuck out my tongue and lit up. I really didn't care that Craig was judging me. I just got embarrassed in front of the whole school. I could smoke if I fucking wanted to. Setting my head on his I smoked feeling better than I did five minutes before. I took this opportunity to question Craig.

Puffing out some smoke I look down at his beat up slip ons. "So where did the going to my house plan come from?"

Craig sighed "I didn't want to deal with them today. I already have my mom breathing down my neck about my new 'boyfriend' now." I smirked being happier than I should have been.

"Well, I'll meet her soon right?" Flicking my cigarette away, I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I don't know, I guess." Craig mumbled grabbing onto my arms and closing his eyes. After a while of comfortable silence, Craig spoke up again.

"This is supposed to be a learning experience for me but I kind of want this to be a real relationship, Tweek." This surprised me. I thought my face would never turn back to its natural pigment. If Craig kept this up, I would start to really love the kid. That really scared me, I wanted to be in control of this but it was hard but at the same time I didn't want to have any control over this at all.

"Hmm, I never said it wasn't a real relationship, Craig." I nuzzled his poof ball with my nose, immediately feeling bad because I'm sure I got snot on it.

Once again we sat in comfortable silence until Craig mumbled something against my arms.

It sounded like "Okay, Cool."

I looked over his head to see a glimpse of his face and I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or what I said but Craig had a flushed nose and cheeks.

It felt like we stood there for mere seconds. Then the lunch bell rang to go to back to class. I really didn't want to get out of this position but my arms went limp.

"I guess we should go to class now." I supplied.

Craig nodded. So I let go of him reluctantly.

I was afraid because it felt like everything was going so good. I shook those thoughts of paranoia out of my head because I've learned something from it. Don't stress about the future just focus on the present because the future will soon be nothing but the present. I liked Craig, Craig liked me. I couldn't have wanted anything more. Sure we could run into problems but that's what makes relationships fun.

Craig and I walk back to school and to History class. Shit, I was a bad partner I almost forgot about the project. Craig must have seen the worry strike my face because he thrusted the paper into my face. I sigh in relief as he chuckles.

"Tweek, you're such a retard sometimes."

Yeah, wait until he meets my mother.

* * *

><p><strong>Want to know something funny? I just wanted to get this done with tonight. HAHAHA I thought this chapter wouldn't be done until fucking like Sunday. This just means I get to have more time working on chapter three. That sounds good. Ah, well. Thank you everyone who legitimately like this fic. It gives me super butterflies.<strong>

**Also I know this fic is rainbows and cotton candy and I highly doubt there is going to be major shit that will happen but that could change because I like making people sob. AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. For some reason this chapter seems short but murp. **

**Reviews are super but I'm not forcing you.**

**Syrina fucking out. **


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